The premise for this short is quite similar to the my script, in this narrative office worker Ed mistakenly draws a penis on what he thinks is his friends farewell letter, then as he is about to leave he discovers that it was in face a sympathy letter for his boss, who had just lost his mother.
He rushes to stop the letter before it reaches his boss but its too late, he sits at his desk in a daze and his boss taps him on the shoulder and tells him to come to his office. At this point the audience is thinking that Ed is going to be fired and as the boss talks about how his mother was a nurse in the war you can anticipate that he is building up to shout at Ed but then he tells Ed how she used to call him her little butterfly and how did he know?
Ed looks confused until the boss opens the card to show that where Ed drew the penis the ink had transferred to the other side of the card and now looks like a butterfly. He then hugs Ed and thanks him. I really like this ending as it isn't what the audience expect.
In terms of visual language the short is shown through a series on medium shots and shot reverse shots, the interaction between Ed and his boss is shown with a Low angle/High angle set up to denote the authority the boss holds over Ed.
The mise en scene shows the average office set up, one noteworthy example however is Ed's cup of coffee which reads, Always late but worth the wait, this could be symbolic of how Ed is not exactly a model employee in terms of punctuation and formality but is "worth the wait" meaning he is a good employee in regards to he gets the work done.
I would be interested in putting something similar into my own script perhaps having an object in my characters car which indicates he is being held back or is unhappy about his job, I just have to think of something I could use.
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